Can you believe that my second trimester of this pregnancy has come and gone so quickly. It only seems like yesterday that I announced that I was pregnant! It’s really hitting my now that this baby is coming. And soon! Right now my emotions are full of excitement, anxiousness and fear all at the same time. I can’t help but keep thinking … I can do this!… it’s been done before… I can do it again… or can I? You guys, I’m just really nervous. I mean, sure… I’ve raised two boys and for the most part, on my own… but I’m starting all over again. OMG! I’m starting all over again! This is terrifying but I know deep down in my heart that everything will be okay.

If you’ve been following my pregnancy you know that it’s been a tough one full of aches and pains, especially in my second trimester. This has been my most difficult pregnancy yet and I’ve never felt more overwhelmed in my life. You can read more about my pregnancy scare here and don’t forget to follow up with the update. And just so you know, things are still doing good and baby is just fine!

Besides my pregnancy scare, I’ve felt so many changes in my body. Sure my belly is growing at rapid speeds but no one ever told you the pains that come with it. Let me just say this, everything.. and I do mean everything hurts! I know it’s been over 11 years but damn… I don’t remember being this sore all of the time. My lower abdomen seems to always be sore. It almost feels like my stomach muscles are ripping apart… maybe they are? What also hurts is my inner thighs, I find that I’m already starting to waddle like a penguin. Not cute. The worst pain of all, brace yourself, is inside my lady bits. The best way I can describe this feeling… and I apologize for being graphic… is as if I have a pole rammed up my vagina. As though I had a night of extremely rough sex and I’m sore the next day… except there’s no sex happening over here. I’m too scared. Sorry Hunny. All of these pains usually come on if I’m walking or standing for too long and I try my best to rest as much as possible. It’s hard to get in and out of the car, sit down and get back up… even turning to the other side of the bed hurts. I’ve talked to many women and I haven’t found anyone who’s gone through this. Crossing fingers it gets better but I’m not that hopeful.

I’ve been told by many women that my belly is small, but believe me when I tell you this baby is extremely heavy. I’ve never used a belly support until now. He sits really low which can also attribute to my pains and feels like I’m literally carrying a bowling ball in my belly. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes out to be 10+ lbs.

Is it normal to be needy? I am far from that type of girl but this trimester has gotten the best of me. I want my boyfriend around all of the time even when I really don’t want him around. Here’s what’s funny, I love talking to him on the phone and I always want to call him.. but in person I don’t say much. At home, I want him here but I hate having him sleep in the room with me. I just want him to play with my hair and put me to sleep then take his butt to the couch cause I need my space. I’m sure he thinks I’m crazy. I love affection but only when I need it… he’s pretty oblivious to this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s been great, but I’m sure it’s because he’s a guy he has a horrible time at reading me.

One thing I will say is that even after all of this, I feel great! I’m full of energy… at least I think I am… and I’ve never felt more beautiful. It’s amazing to see your body change in order to bring life into this world and I love it. All of the aches and pains are well worth the trouble every time I feel him move around and kick me. While this pregnancy has gotten the best of me… I cannot wait to meet this little blessing of mine.

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