First of all. Thank you. Thank you again to every one of you who read my post on my postpartum. It’s crazy, in a good way, when you realize that you were never really alone. I’ve never felt more love than I have in the last two weeks. You guys are amazing, truly amazing.
I’ve been blogging now for nearly 13 years. What started out as an online journal on LJ, trickled into a makeup blog as I found a new career path and then gradually made it’s way back to sharing about my personal life again. It’s really funny how it’s come full circle. 2017 was one of my most overworked years. While it was fulfilling financially and of course having King keep me on my toes, I really neglected my blog. Sure, I used the excuse about being busy and while I was I would mainly create content if I was getting paid. It wasn’t fun anymore (not getting paid, getting paid is great – creating content was another story). It felt like a chore. Another job on top of the million jobs I’m already doing.
Back in the day, blogging was more like a community to me and in recent years, it’s felt like a competition. It’s kind of toxic really. We used to encourage each other, share ideas, actually read each other’s posts and leave comments to let you know we’re here. That’s almost non-existent now because we’re worried more about the perception of things. In the past year, I rarely wrote any beauty posts (which were my favourite things to share) because I honestly did not feel good enough. The perception of beauty has been completely warped. Nowadays, you need an entire set up. For everything. Not just beauty blogging. From the camera, to the lighting to editing software, to the way your Instagram flows…. seriously. You can’t just post selfies, you need outfits of the day, what you ate, who you’re with because people like to see that shit. Listen, I’m not afraid to share my life online but what I realized and what was scaring me was that I was comparing myself to everyone. Every beauty blogger, every mommy blogger, every lifestyle blogger. I mean, what kind of blogger am I?
And you know what I learned… They don’t have anything that I have.
We’re all different. We all bring something unique. I don’t need to be anyone else but me. I used to think that my blog needed a direction because I never really fell into one single category… but you know what? Who the fuck cares. I want to get back to sharing the content that I love. Starting fresh. My goals for my blog this year is to share more of myself. Post the shit that I love. I don’t want to pressure myself or feel obligated to make this and that type of post but rather the things that give me meaning and inspires me. . I might talk about motherhood one day and how to create a glitter eye cut crease the next. And that’s okay because I’m not here to prove myself to anyone…
So here I am, starting over. Being more me and unapolegetically so. I hope you ride with my as I embark on this journey of self discovery. <3